Pros and Cons of 5 Doritos 'Crash the Super Bowl' Finalists

Two dogs, one bear, one blind man, two kids, five men in women's clothing, one blow to the crotch, one screaming goat. Those are the key figures for this year's Crash the Super Bowl, presented by Doritos. The contest, which challenges ordinary people to make Super Bowl ads, has selected its five finalists, which are now up for a vote on Facebook. The top vote getter, along with a second spot selected by Doritos, will air during the Super Bowl on Feb. 3. The creators are eligible to to win cash if their spot ranks among the top three finishers on the USA Today Ad Meter. (The prizes are: $1 million for first place, $600,000 for second place and $400,000 for third place.) Also, the creator of the spot that ends up higher on the Ad Meter, whether in the top three or not, gets to work with Michael Bay on the next Transformers movie. Frankly, none of this year's entries are that exciting. The goat one is probably the funniest, though it doesn't really make any sense at all.

Here are the ads, in alphabetical order, with pros and cons of each:

1. "Express Checkout"
   Pros: Blind man, blow to the crotch
   Cons: Too many characters
   
   
2. "Fashionista Daddy"
   Pros: Cute kid, cross-dressing men
   Cons: Weak punch line
   
   
3. "Fetch"
   Pros: Cute dog, angry bear
   Cons: Weak punch line, and what's with the magazine?
   
   
4. "Goat 4 Sale"
   Pros: Goat
   Cons: Nonsensical plot
   
   
5. "Road Chip"
   Pros: Cute kid, defenestrated dog
   Cons: Telegraphed punch line