H&M, which used to pimp clothes from Madonna, has now hired her ex, Guy Ritchie, to film this spot for the David Beckham Bodywear collection. Of course, it stars Beckham, who, though a series of unfortunate events, has his clothes ripped off. Thanks to his dog shutting the door in his face, the soccer star has no choice but to chase down a Victoria Beckham-designed Range Rover to get his robe back. You get everything: Beckham rising slowly out of a pool, dripping wet; his shirt ripping off to reveal chiseled abs; and not one but two close-cropped shots of his ass as he adjusts his H&M underpants. Beckham told HM.com that "people will get to see me play a role I've never done before!" Sorry, David, but there's nothing new about your role as "sexy bitch" in this film. (Not that that's a bad thing. "I'm pregnant," says one blown-away YouTube viewer.) Check out the spot and marvel at how Beckham turns picking a wedgie out of his ass into pure sex appeal.