Heidi Klum is the latest person who doesn't eat Hardee's/Carl's Jr. to film an ad for the fast-food chain. The spot, from 72andSunny, which spoofs The Graduate for whatever reason, has Klum chowing into a Jim Beam Bourbon burger in front of a younger man (and his pathetic attempt at a mustache) while the voiceover sort of compares the experience to losing one's virginity. Gross. What they should compare it to is unhinging your jaw like a boa constrictor. That burger is as big as Heidi's head. Beyond that, ads like this are destined to underperform, in a way. As an audience, either we don't pay attention to the burger because of Heidi's fabulous body, or we do pay attention to it and, well, that's weird and off-putting. If Morgan Spurlock taught us anything, it's that fast food can't be sexy. Period.