Ever wonder how the BP logo would look if its sunflower petals were replaced by penises? What if a phallus stood in for the "I" in AIG, or the slanted stripes of Adidas' emblem morphed into dicks? Do you imagine giving Airbnb's heady logo the shaft?
If such thoughts keep you up at night, you might want to check out Penised.com.For $25-35, designers at the assuredly not NSFW site will add penises to your enemies' logos. (Scrotums are strictly optional.) In its first week, the site has focused on corporate insignias, but its founders say they're eager to handle requests of every kind.
I sought out the pubic pranksters for a hard-hitting Q&A.
So, who are you?
We are two buddies that work in tech and have decided to remain anonymous for now, as we do have day jobs, and we want the logos to be the face of the business, not us.
How did the idea for Penised—sigh—come together?
We have a side business building prototype apps for people. One day we were at the bar having a couple of beers and doodling some logo concepts for an app we were about to build, and we noticed a couple of sketches had rather phallic shapes to them. The more we drank, the funnier they looked, and we started joking about other logos that looked a bit dick-ish, and, boom!—the idea for Penised was born. Everyone loves a good dick joke, and we are no exceptions.
What's the response been like?
We launched last weekend, and the site went viral on Reddit around Monday [March 16]. Our first 24 hours saw about 330,000 visitors, and our first full week about a million. We have been incredibly overwhelmed with how well it's been received and how many people love the idea. Since every logo is chosen by the customer, it's basically like telling a joke perfectly tailored to your audience.
We received over 1,000 design applications in the first week. We were shocked by how many people there are out there like us—getting paid to draw dicks is their dream job.
How many paying customers have you had so far?
We have chosen not to disclose sales numbers nor customers. Most of the logos on the homepage were made by our designers, based on logos we selected.
Are there companies you expected requests for, but haven't got?
We tried to get some of the heavy hitters on the most-hated list (penised for the launch, before the push for customers), so maybe people just like the ones we have already done. We are shocked we haven't gotten any Comcast requests. We personally hate them and are pretty sure the rest of the world does, too.
Which logos are your favorites so far?
My personal favorite is the Uber logo because of how subtle and elegant it came out. Shout-out to our designer Stephen Thompson for that one.
Are there any logos you're just aching to turn into penises?
I'd like to see a real challenging one, something like Dick's Sporting Goods. Something that obvious would be difficult to penis well.
What's your view on circumcision?
We let each designer make their own calls about girth, cut and length. It's really a case-by-case basis.
What does all this say about Western civilization?
People are awesome. Organizations can be dicks. Often the organization runs the people instead of the other way around, and people are getting sick of taking it. There is really no excuse anymore for any organization to not being aware and empathetic to peoples' opinions of them and to try to make those opinions positive. If you don't, we are going to penis you.
Is there a company or organization whose logo you'd never remake as a penis?
We don't really care if anyone gets upset or offended by any of our logos.
Any worries that corporate lawyers might order you to cease and desist?
We consulted with an attorney prior to this endeavor. Basically, if you look at our terms, all work should be considered parody and therefore should be OK. However, we recognize how litigious this country is and are well aware someone will probably take legal action at some point.
What's next, vaginas?
We are still trying to get our heads around where we are right now. But with the rock-star design team we have as the heart of our business, we will definitely be erecting some new tools and working hard to penetrate into new areas.